Justin and Jacob

Justin Mashburn and I attended the Orange County Chapter of NAMI's family-to-family a few nights ago. I gave my general overview of the program, and then Justin hit the floor, tapping out rhythmically his stint in the program thus far.

Justin spoke of his overall impression of Caramore as being a program that embraces individuals for their differences, and not by their mental illness. He concentrated more upon self-desire, determination, and will-power. He spoke of routine, a welcomed transition away from tired performances with family members, and he made it clear that he feels really accepted, a part of community, and a self-contributor. Not once did Justin speak of his mental illness. Instead, he spoke of his difficulties with getting up in the morning, coming to terms with his illness, and getting adjusted to a new routine.

In the end, Justin said that he was proud to be a part of Caramore, and when we were being bombarded with questions, he answered with no hesitation, and I never felt the slightest discomfort or unease. When asked, "How does Caramore bridge the gap between the greater community of Chapel Hill, and the community of Caramore, knowing that you have a mental illness," Justin responded very articulately, "We don't define ourselves in that way."

Justin has accepted his illness, and truly wants to grow. Growth is different for everyone. When given compassion, understanding, acceptance, and temperance, individuals feel free to grow in their own UNIQUE way, without fear of being judged. The moment this begins to happen, an individual surfaces with autonomy and self-motivation. Justin did that without any rehearsal, without any push, and without any reservation. No matter what is in store for his future beyond today, I can say confidently, and without any reticence, that the Justin that spoke tonight was not the same Justin that I met when he was admitted.

We never stop growing until the world tells us otherwise, and the world does not define us. Instead, we define ourselves, and the world learns acceptance, or turns away. Either way, the one is not contingent or dependent on the other, but they gently ask for cohabitation, and I am sure that we provide that.

Jacob Long

Admissions Director

Integrating with the Community

Question:

How do I figure out what my interests are after being diagnosed with “mental illness?”

One challenge of living with a chronic illness is addressing the questions “who am I, how do I relate socially, and what do I still care about?” With Caramore serving as a community and physical space for one to reconnect to self—meetup.com serves as a much broader community to rekindle old interests and develop new skills.

Answer:

meetup.com

See for yourself.

Brian F

We Shall: A Message from the President of Caramore to Potential Clients

• We shall not protect your life as it is; we shall promote what it could be. At Caramore, you should expect to change and dare to dream, because—“It’s never too late to become the person you might have been.”

• We shall be a beacon, not a butler.

• We shall offer patience, not protection.

• We shall offer hope, not a handout.

• We shall offer opportunity, not a guarantee.

• We shall model and promote success and health.

• We shall care about you, but not for you.

• We shall offer structure, not a shield.

• We shall not passively observe you, but will actively engage you. At Caramore, you shall be known and noticed.

• We shall together realize and promote that you have worth, value, capabilities, potential, rights, and responsibilities.

• Welcome to opportunity, welcome to adventure, welcome to hope.


David Chapman, President of Caramore.

Hope at Caramore

I've often been asked what specific attributes are the most important for someone to have in order to succeed in Caramore. Of course there are many intangibles to consider, but I am convinced there are two underlying forces that link everyone who has ever been successful at Caramore—first is the willingness to embrace a philosophy of sacrifice and hard work to achieve goals; and second, is the inner desire to develop a life built around hope.

Hard work and sacrifice, I think we all can grasp the meaning of that. But I believe it is that elusive concept of hope which is truly the underlying foundation upon which Caramore has been able to guide people towards success. But what is hope? And can hope, together with hard work, actually alter the course of a disability and its effect on someone's life? We believe the answer is yes.

At Caramore, we don't confuse hope with optimism—a sense that things will work out for the best. Hope is very different from optimism. Hope does not arise from merely “thinking positive,” or crossing our fingers and wishing things will turn out ok. Hope, unlike optimism, is deeply reflected in one's personal efforts and determination to overcome the harshness of reality.

Although there is no universal definition of hope, I found one that seems to capture the essence of what makes hope so vital in everyone's life:

Hope is that elevating feeling that we experience, in our own mind's eye, of our personal path to a better future. Hope acknowledges the enormous obstacles and deep pitfalls that exist along that path. Hope is our inner guiding light that empowers and propels us through the darkness towards achieving our best destiny.

For any person, from anywhere, I can't envision a meaningful life without a strong sense of hope.

Barry Shanley

A Gracious Goodbye to Mickey Locklear

Since I've been at Caramore, I've witnessed and have been part of many changes around here. Hundreds of clients have come through our doors, staff has come and gone, programs have been revitalized, and all of our offices and residences have taken on a different appearance. But one valued constant that has not changed has been the calming and lasting presence of Mickey Locklear at Ephesus.

Mickey's legacy is incredible. I have never heard from a single client anything in the least bit negative about Mickey. In fact, many of our clients have regarded their relationship with Mickey as one of the most supportive and nurturing aspects of the Caramore experience. Mickey had a warm way with everyone who lived in the group home. She could make people feel appreciated and comfortable, not an easy thing to do when so many people come to us who might be anxious, frightened or feeling depressed. Mickey's charming, relaxed demeanor could cut through all those tensions very quickly and people would know they had a close friend and ally with Mickey.

In times of crisis, Mickey was a good person to consult with, share feelings with, and lean on for comfort. In times of joy, Mickey would be the first person you would want to share your happy news with. She connected with all of her clients—young or old, men or women, outgoing or withdrawn. Mickey had a personal touch with each and every one. I have nothing but admiration for the lasting memories she has left in the minds of all who resided with her.

And, of course, Mickey's many cooking and baking skills are legendary. Everyone looked forward to her Sunday evening meals and everyone learned from her down home cooking techniques. Mickey enjoyed putting food on the table for all to enjoy, and she could see how the communal meal could bond people together and make for a shared, enjoyable experience. With Mickey in or around the kitchen, Ephesus was filled with warmth, comfort, and good vibrations.

Mickey's last day will be this Friday, January 23rd. She has been with Caramore for longer than I can imagine, I think around 14 years or so. Incredible. We have hired Nancy Phillips and Caroline Crumpler to cover most of the duties that Mickey had. Caroline and Nancy will be wonderful new additions to our staff and do a fine job. But I cautioned them that they should do their job in their own style, and not think of themselves as Mickey's "replacement.”

That would be just an impossible order for anyone to undertake ... to try and replace someone as uniquely revered and special as Mickey Locklear.

Thanks Mickey, and here's to many happy days ahead for you.

Cheers Barry